The adrenaline rush was unbearable. I could feel my palms sweating. When I tried to clip the microphone on to my coat, my hands were trembling. Eager looking eyes of the audience were pinned on me. I took a deep breath and with my heart still pounding, I said, “Hello everyone!”
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After the blow to my confidence last week with obstetrics patients, I have developed a healthy fear of the uterus and have understandably been reluctant to see ante-natal, labouring, or post-natal patients.  Any organ that bleeds 500ml a minute is a thing to be feared in my book.  Of course the problem with my reluctance is that over 50% of what happens here has something to do with pregnancy, and again today we found ourselves without an obstetrician for both a delivery and also an ante-natal clinic.  Me, again? Oh no. more…

Before I arrived here, I was concerned about quite how bad my first on-call could be given the new environment, the language, and the vastly different presentations that I could see.  I’d done my homework, I knew that Guatemala ranked highly in both maternal and infant mortality rates, but I’m not sure I’d taken the time to consider how I might personally react to an horrific on-call.  The transfer of a numerical statistic to human contact is a difficult step to take. more…

I am now working in the department of ear, nose and throat (ENT) and I have come across my all time favourite medical saying: “A thyroid is like a lady’s handbag - you never know what you might find!” This was said with glee by one of my consultants during a thyroidectomy. His point being that the neck can contain a surprisingly large thyroid compared to what you might have predicted on clinical examination. However, I would like to take this one step further and say that ENT in general can be on occasions similar to ladies’ handbags. more…

It wasn’t until the last couple of weeks that I began to have terrible, panic-stricken nightmares about my dreadful communication skills.  I wake in a trembling state, sweating because I can’t remember how to ask my patient ‘Does the pain radiate anywhere else? Does it come and go?  Is it sharp, stabbing pain?’
In my night terrors, it’s always the same patient, and me standing open mouthed bubbing like a goldfish. Now don’t worry, this memory problem isn’t pathological, I’m not dementing or growing a tumour, I’m moving to Guatemala for work.  Despite my 6 months of Spanish lessons slotted in around understaffed rotas, without a doubt I’m going to have some total communication failures.  The Calgary-Cambridge model probably isn’t going to cut it in the event I forget the words for ‘I need some help, she’s haemorrhaging’. more…

So you want to be a surgeon? As a new medical graduate do you really know what this entails? I thought I did, but quickly learnt otherwise. more…

We can’t wait to hear from a NASA astronaut and doctor. James Bagian is coming over from the US specially to speak at our conference, Junior Doctors: Agents for Change, on 1 June. He’s currently the Director of the National Center for Patient Safety at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and everyone who has heard him speak has said he is fantastic. more…

Three down two to go just started my fourth year. I am excited about sinking my teeth into some of the diverse fields of medicine. Orthopaedics, gynaecology and dermatology are some of the specialities I can look forward to. My excitement was short lived for I received my loan papers today. Granted my initial reaction was a sense of relief as the cash strapped summer holiday was officially over and now it was time for some spending. more…

Many things have changed during my transition from medical student to junior doctor. For starters my bank account contains a mysterious thing called money, a 30 minute lunch break is something I dream about and leaving hospital on time a distant memory. Amongst the changes one of the biggest is the way I learn. more…

“Two hours - two f***ing hours!” he screams as he bludgeons his partner to a pulp in front of her four children for returning home late from the shops. The onlookers are reduced to a stunned silence. I look around, see their disbelief and share it. The fuming perpetrator is Simon, played by Ray Winstone, and the victim is Maggie Conlan, played by Crissy Rock. Both are wonderfully directed by Ken Loach in his inimitable gritty style. The film we’ve just watched is Ladybird Ladybird. more…