Eva Brencicova: A first date to remember
1 Apr, 09 | by BMJ Group
Initially I thought the lady was choking. I was close to rushing towards her to perform some of the jazzy first-aid moves I learnt in medical school (and become the star of the evening). But very soon it became fairly obvious that Heimlich manoeuvre & co. were uncalled-for. Dignity and self-control werewhat this woman was lacking, the consequence being shocked stares and disbelief from everyone around as she was sick all over the table right next to me on my romantic Friday night out.
Having met my boyfriend Duncan while travelling in Oceania under rather unconventional circumstances, we never really had a first date. Although we had been together for a while, we jokingly and for no particular reason, titled our Friday night plans last week our “late first date”. Everyone wishes for memorable first dates - though I’d rather go without if what dominates the evening (you can’t possibly top that!) is a woman in her 50s behaving like a pitiful teenager.
I take my hat off to the manager and his staff who handled the situation perfectly, offering us a table in a different section of the restaurant immediately and later serving complementary champagne as well as regarding it as a matter of course that our meal and drinks were on the house (which made our date the cheapest in history for Duncan!). The situation was clearly a disaster for the trendy, jam-packed London restaurant. But most importantly, I felt it was a disgrace beyond comparison for the middle-aged woman, who didn’t stop drinking when she should have.
Alcohol excesses and their unpleasant consequences have recently been debated in depth in the British media. A tax on alcohol, proposed by England’s chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson, was overruled by Britain’s prime minister and deemed unfair towards the responsible middle-class drinkers. As Zosia Kmietowitz points out in her blog, one struggles to understand how such proposal - albeit controversial but backed by evidence and aiming to protect millions of innocent victims - can fail to be appreciated and supported by respected authorities.
The incident last Friday, however, made me consider the other side of the story. I have my doubts whether a higher price on the numerous drinks the woman downed that night would have made a difference. Would dipping deeper into the consumers’ purses instil sensibility and restraint? While this is thoroughly plausible and anything but a new notion, my first date disaster demonstrated just how desperately even seemingly mature people can struggle to refuse when offered a drink. Among students, one almost needs a proper excuse such as simulated early pregnancy or, easier to apply among friends, severe headache, to justify ordering a coke in a bar at night. How have we reached the stage where one is an outsider if they prefer to avoid humiliation and nasty hangovers?
While I believe the proposed alcohol tax could be a great step towards the protection of hazardous drinkers and their victims, I wonder how we can reach those who might not be classified as hazardous, but rather frivolous. I dream of a world where it’s hip to order lemonade instead of beer. And where I can perk myself up for a date without worrying about foolish women in midlife crises miserably staining my dress.
Eva Brencicova is a medical student in Freiburg, Germany and a BMJ Clegg Scholar
Whilst the abuse of alcohol worldwide is clearly a source of much concern to all, including the writer of this blog, what is more worrying to the reader is the obvious agism that permeates this piece. Perhaps instead of worrying about ‘…foolish women in midlife crises miserably staining my dress’, Ms Brencicova should do some soul searching about her attitude to those older than her. I am a woman of middle age and I’d hate to encounter this clearly agist doctor-to-be in any setting that requires empathy and judgement.
Karen Kennedy
April 1st, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I would tend to agree with EVA, that no amount of taxation can reduce drinking.Taxation cannot be a deterrant against consumption of alcohol or smoking for that matter.The urge not to drink or stop drinking has to come from with in.As a gastroenterologist practicing in New Delhi, India, Alcoholic liver disease is the most comon cause of death in our setup.It is distressing to see young people dying and families being ruined beacuse of alcohol.
Sudeep
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:25 am
Unfortunately I believe Ms Kennedy has misundestood the meaning of this blog. Whilst in this instance it happens to have been a ‘middle-aged’ woman that Eva refers to, her comments apply to all age cohorts of our society. References to a ‘pitiful teenager’ and the peer pressure faced by students who don’t want to over-indulge, clearly demonstrates she recognises alcohol can impact on the young as well as old.
The thrust of the article is to raise awareness of the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption and to question the effectiveness of taxes as a deterrent. It is often the young that the media highlights as being excessive ‘binge-drinkers’, but I would imagine this very group have the least disposable income and would thus be impacted upon most by any alcohol tax. What this article demonstrates by citing the lady in question is that a penative fiscal approach is not a ’silver bullet’ solution, as it would most likely have little or not effect on those with higher disposable income…id est, those in their middle-ages. In this instance I agree with Sudeep that education and an understanding of the dangers of alcohol must be prioritised.
Thank you for raising these issues Eva, and I hope you have many enjoyable (vomit-free) dates to come.
Duncan
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:15 pm
The reason why I emphasised the age of the lady in question is very different from the one Ms. Kennedy accuses me of. Teenagers are often in the process of exploring their boundaries, and such “experiments” can go awfully wrong. While their young years don’t make such incidents any more pleasant for the people around, they do make them - in my opinion - more comprehensible.
People in their middle ages have - in all regards of life - much more experience than myself and my peers. Therefore, so I believed until the evening mentioned above, they know their limits and are not likely to voluntarily bring themselves into a stage where they cannot control their actions. I intended to emphasise the worrying status alcohol has in our society, occasionally gaining control even over those who we - due to the respect they naturally receive for being elder - regard somewhat as an example.
I do not appreciate the accusations you made, Ms. Kennedy. I always treat all my patients with respect, regardless of their age.
Eva Brencicova
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:41 pm
United States has dealt with its alcohol problem with periodic enforcement of strict prohibition like the one, which lasted from 1920-23, and the incidence of alcoholic cirrhosis reached an all time low. The death rate from the condition fell to half its 1907 peak and did not start to increase again until the amendment was repealed.
from: Chapter 64, DISCUSSING THE WHOLE
http://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Notebook-Narrative-Human-Ontology/dp/1606927353/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237806592&sr=8-1
conflict of interest: Obvious if you read the book
Rakesh Biswas
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:43 am
Dear Eva,
I found your article quite interesting. I just want to know a bit more about the clegg scholarship. I shall be very grateful if you could tell me more about it.
Thanks
kind regards
Kev
kev
August 21st, 2009 at 3:55 pm