The Journey from Doing to Being. By Dr. John Okocha

What a day it’s been?!

I attended my community gynaecology clinic as part of my GP training rotation and was now on the bus home. During the day, I had made a short trip to the hospital library to attend an interview for two Future Leaders Programme (FLP) fellow positions. Everything that could go wrong nearly went wrong with IT being the chief culprit. This was the third in a series of FLP interviews, such was my desperation to turbo-charge my leadership journey (more on that journey later). And so, it was no surprise that I was beside myself with joy, when my bus ride was punctuated with the good news that I had been offered the two roles I had interviewed for that fateful day. I would go on to accept the leadership fellowship post for enhancing generalist skills in GP training (2023-24), and the rest, as they say, is history.

This piece is an attempt to capture such history – how my leadership identity swung from finding fulfilment in ‘doing’ things, to settling into carving myself an identity, shaped by a satisfaction in ‘who I was becoming’. If you stick around, you will read about some of the skills I have developed while ‘getting the job done’ during my leadership year. You will also read about a few discoveries I made about myself, including my best position on the football pitch which it turns out is as a centre-back.

The cold water doesn’t get warmer if you jump late

I have long had some self-confidence steeped in my humble mien, but my new role as a leadership fellow seemed determined to wrestle away every inch of self-confidence with the imposter phenomenon a frequent visitor at the beginning of the role. I hit rock-bottom when I silently told myself I did not deserve the role, and for days I thought I would, for want of words, make a mess of the role. However, after attending a few workshops, including one on imposter syndrome itself, it became clear that this feeling of inadequacy was not unique to me, and was in fact shared by most other leaders a lot of whom I held in high esteem. A key lesson from that learning, was that adopting the growth mindset – one that acknowledges our weak spots as areas for further development – could transform the way we view ourselves, permitting us to be both compassionate and patient with ourselves as we make the journey from beginner to proficient.

To whom much is given, much will be required

My leadership project explored innovative approaches to embed NHS England’s Enhancing Generalist Skills programme in regional General Practice (GP) training and for a while it appeared that my value was intrinsically linked with the success of my project. However, a light bulb moment occurred when we were encouraged to view ourselves as the project although I must admit a part of me only held this view as a plan B to fall back on if my ‘main’ project failed (insert appropriate emoji). This view appears to be widespread as quality improvement projects tend to focus more on processes and service delivery rather than the people that actually deliver the work. As a result, it is not uncommon for people in healthcare to struggle to have dedicated time for self-development which contributed to my decision to take an entire year out of post-graduate medical training.  However, the advantage of being the ‘project’ is that you are given permission to be kind to yourself and to invest in your professional and personal development, thus increasing your capacity to carry out the more traditional responsibilities both compassionately and efficiently. When this approach is adopted at a team level, the result is an improved work culture that supports team members to not just survive, but thrive, while bringing their authentic whole selves to work thus unlocking the team’s limitless potential.

The journey from doing to being

While I have derived great satisfaction from contributing to positive change in GP training delivery, I soon began to develop some other sort of satisfaction, perhaps contentment in who I was becoming. In fact, around mid-way into my fellowship, with no obvious success in sight for two major projects, I had already seen enough progress in my evolution as a compassionate leader, with a clear development path, that I reached the conclusion that my fellowship had been a success. By embracing a collaborative approach to setting and implementing project goals, valuing each member of my team, and empowering them to contribute to the project work, I had begun to embrace the ethos of compassionate leadership and this realisation itself felt like success. Tellingly, this realisation was followed by a period of unparalleled success both in project work and in my Visiting Lecturer role. It is safe to say then, that ‘being’ comes before doing. Ultimately, we are not our work – and we can be content in who we are becoming, while staying true to our values, rather than looking to external feats for validation.

A leopard does not change its skin

It only seems fair that I give you a peek into who I was, to put into context my journey to where I am. No bonus points for guessing I am no leopard, although I have not changed my skin (insert second appropriate emoji). As an International Medical Graduate, I have experienced a vast array of emotions after crossing the proverbial seven seas from West Africa to the UK several years ago, ranging from despair, to hope and every possible emotion between them. Cultural differences, the good old British weather, different ways of working, amongst other factors all combined to provide formidable opposition to my joie de vivre. A key, however, to bouncing back from setbacks, or ‘bouncebackability’ like a famous football pundit put it, is to use them as fuel and lessons for the journey. Carving an authentic identity or ‘skin’ like the leopard, thus allows us to view ourselves as separate from our work and enables us to receive feedback for our work not as attacks to our person but as tools for improving the quality of our work.

How becoming a centre-back changed my life

If you follow football, like I do, you will realise that being a centre-back is the least likely route to stardom. And so, when I volunteered to be a centre-back at a recent 11-a-side game, it was because it was the least coveted position. I would go on to have an imperious performance, of course including my now-customary concession of a penalty. Is it not interesting that sometimes opportunities to show leadership, like chairing a meeting when the designated leader is absent, or volunteering to speak at a local school careers event, are sometimes missed because they don’t often scream ‘leadership’? However, these less-coveted roles are often opportunities to develop key leadership qualities which can serve us well as we progress in our leadership journey.

Author

Photo of John Okocha

Dr. John Okocha

John is a GP Registrar, with a keen interest in population health, medical leadership and education. During the 2023-24 year, he undertook a leadership fellowship with NHS England, with a focus on enhancing generalist skills within the context of GP training. Specific project goals achieved during the fellowship included: developing enhance workplace-based assessment (WPBA) workbooks for GP trainees, organising a generalist-themed regional GP training conference for Yorkshire and Humber, developing a framework for a generalist innovative training post (ITP) for GP trainees and working with the national Enhancing Generalist Skills team to support GP implementation of the enhance programme.

John’s passion for medical education has seen him complete a Postgraduate Certificate in Clinical Practice, Management and Education (from the University of Central Lancashire) while taking on a role as a Visiting Lecturer at the University of Leeds for the 2023-24 academic session.

He has enjoyed the opportunity to make a difference in various leadership positions, including as a GP Registrar representative for Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust (2021 – 2023), clinical champion for BMJ Best Practice (2023-24) and currently as a GP Registrar Lead for the Humber and Ridings Faculty of the RCGP.

Now in his final year of General Practice specialty training, John is currently undertaking a quality improvement project aimed at improving continuity of care at a general practice setting serving a population of around 15,000 patients.

X (Twitter): @thejohnkamara

Declaration of interests

I have read and understood the BMJ Group policy on declaration of interests and declare the following interests: none.

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