Blog readers are well aware of my passion for conferences – the immeasurable benefits that can arise from presenting, networking, developing and maintaining collaborations, and sparking ideas, just to name a few. So today I won’t talk at length about the wonderful experiences I had last month as I spoke at a conference in Paris, then at another conference in Krakow. I will talk, however, about domestic violence.
Whilst in Europe, I had no idea that a verdict had been handed down in a local murder trial which has grabbed our attention since the victim’s disappearance more than two years ago (see http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/gerard-badenclay-found-guilty-of-murdering-wife-allison-badenclay-20140715-ztdon.html). I also had no idea of the insidious nature of the domestic violence, inflicted upon the victim, which emerged during the trial and has insipired a variety of responses including efforts to start a dialogue around the unacceptability of domestic violence (eg., see http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/tragedy-of-allison-badenclay-inspires-cousin-to-set-up-online-antidomestic-violence-site/story-fnihsrf2-1227006310512?nk=e46ae81c51bf6c72de6319e37bb46706).
It is easy to lay blame and cast judgement in such circumstances. Some will lay blame at the perpetrator’s feet. Others will lay blame at the victim’s feet. Hindsight is frequently 20/20, and laying blame may not help those in a similar situation. Rather, is there a way we can break the victim/perpetrator dynamic by understanding the victim’s perspective, with the ultimate goal of supporting the victim to extricate themselves from this situation?
A recent article by Taket, O’Doherty, Valpied, and Hegarty (see http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24925714) summarised the interview responses of 254 women who had experienced intimate partner violence. Interestingly, as noted by the authors, “The sample of women was extremely diverse in terms of their experience of abuse, including those still actively working to improve the relationship; those who were staying in the relationship and could not see how it could change; those working to stay safe in the relationship while they worked out how to leave; those in the process of ending the relationship and sorting out finances, housing, and custody of children (if applicable); and those who had ended the relationship but were still experiencing abuse and/or were dealing with the physical or psychological effects of abuse.” Participants shared a range of experiences and advice relating to what they value – and do not value – from their family and friends, including instrumental, informational, emotional and companionship support.
I was particularly touched by their concluding statement: “Notably, women value both support that is directly related to abuse and support related to other areas of life.” How can I help?