Mantra #2: Practice Humility: <\/strong>One of us used to walk to school every day past a mango tree, hoping to reach the mangos to eat. Unfortunately, only fully ripe mangos bent the branches low enough to pick them. As children, we cared only about getting the mangos. Now we can appreciate a cycle that only renews by plucking the fruit, so the branch can rise back to the skies to pollinate the next season. The lesson? As trees give up fruit year after year, mentors must also give away our abundance. Mentoring others helps rejuvenate us. And we get more than we give. Each of us has learned more than we could have imagined from our mentees. There is a fusion of surprise, awe, and respect in this learning that cements the bond with the person in front of you (actual or virtual). In an isolated age, this type of reverse mentoring is a refreshing realization.2<\/sup> Difficult conversations become simpler because learning is taking place at the same time. Even in a virtual environment, seek to learn from those around you.<\/p>\n Mantra #3: Embrace failure.<\/strong> Many religions hold that life is our best teacher, an idea we believe is central to high-quality mentorship. Too many people become frustrated by career events such as being overlooked for promotion, missing grant targets, or not getting along with a co-worker. Many have left organizations due to these frustrations, only to re-experience much the same elsewhere. Why? Consider the lotus flower \u2013 an icon of Buddhist divinity \u2013 the most beautiful of which come from the thickest and dirtiest of mud. As a Buddhist might say: \u201cNo mud, no lotus.\u201d Some of the greatest lessons a mentor or mentee will learn happen when times are the toughest \u2013 when we feel stuck in the mud. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that there is a yin\/yang balance to the universe, then. Today, terms like \u201cpositive psychology\u201d or \u201cpost-traumatic growth\u201d are used to encompass this concept, but the idea is much older. Each hardship, no matter how difficult, can foster greater resilience and strength<\/a>. Having experienced our own disappointments, we often share our missteps with mentees \u2013 a powerful way to connect with them.<\/p>\n Mantra #4: Find empathy and gratitude<\/strong>: As mentors, we sometimes lose sight of the enormous privilege it is to help others grow. We are successful today because others were there to help us. Finding the empathy and sense of gratitude to pay the gift forward is self-healing, acting as a salve to the pain today\u2019s isolation creates. One of us practices this every Friday by sending out notes to mentees and colleagues, thanking them for things they did during the week. This small ritual pays great dividends; people are often amazed that you keep track of these events. We believe we can find something to be thankful for in any situation. Do this during good times and bad. It can be joyful!<\/p>\n Mantra #5: Mentor with Love. <\/strong>We don\u2019t mean romantic, family, or brotherly love, here. Rather, we refer to \u201cagape,\u201d the highest form of divine love. People don\u2019t leave bad jobs; they leave bad bosses. Gifted leaders and mentors know how to move people from compliance to commitment. Effective mentors help mentees navigate their journey and find purpose by caring for them as they do their creators. They see mentees in their full personal and professional being, not in their failures.<\/p>\n *****<\/p>\n These mantras frame an important perspective: mentoring is a sacrament emphasizing selflessness. This unconditional act seeks the highest forms of kindness, truth, and justice. The Indian poet, Kabir, said, \u201cThe river that flows in you also flows in me,\u201d implying that what we see in others, we see in ourselves \u2013 the essence of mentorship. In these times of social distancing, we would be wise to remember that we are part of something bigger than ourselves, that we have a role to play in growing others, and there is perhaps no greater joy than seeing a mentee succeed.<\/p>\n References:<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Vineet Chopra<\/strong>, MD, MSc, is Professor of Medicine and the Robert W. Schrier Chair of Medicine at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. Dr. Chopra\u2019s research focuses on mentoring in the academic hospital space and on an array of patient safety issues like bloodstream infections caused by peripherally inserted central catheters. @vineet_chopra<\/a><\/p>\n Ravi Pendse<\/strong>, PhD, is Vice President for Information Technology and Chief Information Officer at the University of Michigan where he provides university-wide leadership and strategic direction for information technology. @ravipendse<\/a><\/p>\n Sanjay Saint<\/strong>, MD, MPH, FRCP, is the Chief of Medicine at the VA Ann Arbor Healthcare System and the George Dock Professor of Internal Medicine at the University of Michigan. Dr. Saint writes about mentoring, medical education, and topics within patient safety and quality of care. @sanjaysaint<\/a><\/p>\n Declaration of interests<\/strong><\/p>\n We have read and understood the BMJ Group policy on declaration of interests and declare the following interests: none.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is hard to mentor in socially distant times. Stimulating growth and development in others, taking on new proteges, or helping mentees succeed is challenging in a virtual environment. It is tough to escape the lassitude of isolation and the incessant back-to-back Zoom meetings to find time for meaningful mentorship. It becomes a chore that […]<\/p>\n\n
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