This is my third time doing the parenting business, and I thought the cry of a new baby would come with an otherworldly ability to just get the \u2018job\u2019 done. How wrong I was. I\u2019ve had to re-learn the basics: head control, humming lullabies, re-downloading white noise classics \u2014 a full induction programme.<\/p>\n
Each child, like each team member, arrives with a unique operating manual. How often do we expect the newbie on our team to perform just like their predecessor, without first understanding what makes them tick? Forming real human connections fosters psychological safety \u2014 the kind that allows people to bring their whole, authentic selves to work, and contribute meaningfully towards achieving team goals.<\/p>\n
The Castle-nomics Dilemma<\/strong><\/p>\n While piecing together this piece (see what I did there?), I took my 3-year-old daughter, Dasanna, on a road trip to Newcastle. No sooner had we started the trip, did she say how excited she was to be going to the bouncy castle. I am still trying to unearth the relationship between Newcastle and bouncy castles, but I have coined the term \u2018castle-nomics\u2019 in the meantime as this sounds like an emerging course that may well be the subject of a PhD thesis someday (insert appropriate emoji).<\/p>\n A reminder then that what\u2019s said isn\u2019t always what\u2019s heard. Leaders have a key role in ensuring that our communication \u2014 verbal and non-verbal \u2014 conveys what\u2019s intended. Checking understanding isn\u2019t just courteous; it\u2019s critical for alignment and trust.<\/p>\n There Are No Rules<\/strong><\/p>\n In the movie Killer Elite<\/em>, when the hit squad tries to eliminate the protagonist, one of them asks, \u201cWhat are the rules, boss?\u201d The reply: \u201cThere are no rules.\u201d<\/p>\n While parenting isn\u2019t a free-for-all (unless you fancy a visit from the safeguarding team), it does remind us that rigid rules rarely serve dynamic teams. Guardrails help, but creativity and responsiveness are key. Leadership requires both structure and flexibility \u2014 and the wisdom to know which to lean on.<\/p>\n Outcomes Over Activity<\/strong><\/p>\n Look away, Manchester United fans. You\u2019ve endured a coach\u2019s dedication to method over results (although I suspect this may come back to haunt me). Leadership, thankfully, encourages us to adapt our approach to the people in front of us.<\/p>\n Different kids will require different parenting styles, likewise, team members thrive when we tailor our approach to their needs and potential. It\u2019s not about doing more; it\u2019s about doing what matters.<\/p>\n Dream Like a Child, Plan Like an Adult<\/strong><\/p>\n The following conversation ensued between my then-5-year-old son, Declan, and I when getting him ready for school one day:<\/p>\n Declan: \u201cDad, you can do anything.\u201d That exchange happened just weeks before my interview for the National Medical Director\u2019s Clinical Fellow role. The thing is \u2013 I took him seriously \u2014 and the rest, as they say, is history.<\/p>\n Children dream without limits. Adults plan with precision. Combining both \u2014 the wonder of possibility with the wisdom of experience \u2014 can be a real game-changer (oh, that name again). It also reminds us that the most experienced don\u2019t always hold all the answers, nor do the most vocal. This informed my approach in some virtual focus group sessions I led in which I created a \u201cvirtual table\u201d to ensure everyone had equal opportunity to contribute, allowing team members to share insights freely regardless of hierarchy and experience, leading to a more collaborative experience.<\/p>\n It\u2019s coming home<\/strong><\/p>\n Parenting isn\u2019t just a personal journey \u2014 it\u2019s a leadership masterclass. It teaches presence, adaptability, empathy, and fosters curiosity. So yes, I\u2019m a dad. Get me out of here? Not quite. I\u2019m learning to lead right here.<\/p>\n PS: no child was harmed in the production of this article.<\/p>\n Author<\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. John Okocha <\/strong><\/p>\n John is a Clinical Fellow\/Consultant at Deloitte and a National Medical Director\u2019s Clinical Fellow at the Faculty of Medical Leadership and Management. A compassionate leader and clinician, he brings over a decade of experience across primary and secondary care, public health, and medical education. He holds postgraduate qualifications in Clinical Practice, Management and Education (University of Central Lancashire), and Public Health (University of Sheffield).<\/p>\n In his current Deloitte fellowship, John focuses on delivering impactful NHS improvement projects. These include enhancing population health, workforce strategy, operational efficiency, financial optimisation, and other aspects of system-wide improvement.<\/p>\n
\nMe (feeling rather surprised at this unexpected dose of motivation): \u201cWhy do you say that?\u201d
\nDeclan: \u201cBecause you\u2019re very good.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"Photo](\"http:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmjleader\/files\/2024\/10\/John-Okocha-150x150.jpg\")
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