{"id":51070,"date":"2021-10-04T11:54:48","date_gmt":"2021-10-04T10:54:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/?p=51070"},"modified":"2021-10-07T10:59:23","modified_gmt":"2021-10-07T09:59:23","slug":"richard-smith-whats-it-like-to-have-dementia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2021\/10\/04\/richard-smith-whats-it-like-to-have-dementia\/","title":{"rendered":"Richard Smith: What\u2019s it like to have dementia?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Having watched our mother lose her memory over a dozen years to the point where she doesn\u2019t know who we are, my brothers and I wonder what goes on in her head. What\u2019s it like to have dementia? We can never know until we are demented, and how useful will an answer be then? The best insight I have had into understanding what it is like to be demented is from watching <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Father<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a film directed and co-written by Florian Zeller and starring Anthony Hopkins, who won an Oscar for his performance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">We see father from both inside and outside. At the beginning his daughter has come to see him because yet again he has got rid of his carer. She tries to explain to him that he needs somebody to care for him or else . . . We all know what the \u201cor else\u201d is, he will have to go into a home. Father refuses to accept that he needs anybody to care for him. The beginning is thus familiar. The daughter also tells him that she has fallen in love and is going to live in Paris\u2014and won\u2019t be able to see him often.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In the next scene father walks into his living room to see a strange man sitting there. \u201cWhat are you doing here? Get out of my flat.\u201d The man answers that he lives here, and we, the audience, become confused. We know that father lives on his own. Then we learn that the man is the daughter\u2019s husband, but we thought that she was going to live in Paris with a man that she\u2019d just met. How can she have a husband? Father tells the man that he has bad news for him, that his wife is going to live in Paris with another man. The stranger doesn\u2019t think so. Then the daughter arrives, played by another actress but of a similar build and with a similar short haircut. I couldn\u2019t understand who this woman was, but my wife immediately recognised that this was the daughter. I was confused.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I reflect how my mother knew who I was until a few years ago but then became ever less sure. She has introduced me to others as her father.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In another scene the daughter\u2019s husband is played by another actor, and this husband tells father that he is \u201cgetting on our tits\u201d and gives him a shove.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The daughter tries another carer, a young woman very used to people with dementia. Father performs for her, telling her he was a dancer and demonstrating his ability to dance. I\u2019ve seen this confabulation in our mother many times. She\u2019s also disinhibited.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The final scene is in a nursing home, a palatial one, and the nurse who cares for father is nothing short of loving. Few of us will have such care.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The film gives us insight into what it might be like to have dementia as we the audience become steadily more confused over who is who and whether stories are true or imagined. Wonderful to watch and beautifully acted, the film provides some answer to the impossible question of what it is like to be demented.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Richard Smith<\/strong>\u00a0was the editor of\u00a0The BMJ\u00a0until 2004.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Competing interests:<\/strong> none declared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Having watched our mother lose her memory over a dozen years to the point where she doesn\u2019t know who we are, my brothers and I wonder what goes on in [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2021\/10\/04\/richard-smith-whats-it-like-to-have-dementia\/\">More&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":419,"featured_media":51071,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[955],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-richard-smith"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Richard Smith: What\u2019s it like to have dementia? 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