{"id":45548,"date":"2019-09-06T14:01:53","date_gmt":"2019-09-06T13:01:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/?p=45548"},"modified":"2019-09-17T10:46:16","modified_gmt":"2019-09-17T09:46:16","slug":"caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/","title":{"rendered":"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"standfirst\">Caroline Fiennes describes how a doctor&#8217;s honesty about how long her mum had left to live was a much appreciated gift<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2019\/09\/Fitzroy-3.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-45549\" src=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2019\/09\/Fitzroy-3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"188\" height=\"168\" \/><\/a>My mum died in 2016, a more decorous and peaceful end of life would be hard to imagine. That she died well is a huge blessing: not everybody gets that privilege. There is discussion in medical circles about how to improve and de-medicalise ends of lives. My mum\u2019s story may offer some lessons.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">July 2016, and the Proms were about to start. My mum\u2019s health had been deteriorating for a while and, of late, some weird symptoms had appeared, prompting various tests. It wasn\u2019t this, it wasn\u2019t that, it wasn\u2019t a stroke; it was required that she see an oncologist at 4.30pm one afternoon. A doctor friend later said \u201cWhat do you think oncologists use end-of-day appointments for?\u201d. He told her that the breast cancer, which had been \u201cfully treated\u201d five years ago, had returned, spread, and become incurable. \u201cThink in terms of months, not years, possibly as few as two.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The spectre of being predeceased by a parent is, of course, not surprising, but profoundly shocking nonetheless.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Two weeks beforehand, I had, by random chance, heard a talk by Margaret McCartney, a Glasgow based GP whose many writings include the book <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.waterstones.com\/book\/living-with-dying\/margaret-mccartney\/9781780661506\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Living With Dying: Finding Care and Compassion at the End of Life<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">. She described how rubbish many doctors are about ends of lives, and showed (among other things) data about the proportion of occasions when a doctor thinks that s\/he\u2019s given a patient a terminal diagnosis, but the patient doesn\u2019t realise what\u2019s been said. Perhaps it\u2019s so awful a thing to say that the doctor beats about the bush, hides behind incomprehensible medical speak, and the patient simply doesn\u2019t twig. Thus educated by Margaret, we knew to be grateful for the oncologist\u2019s clarity. We knew what to prepare for.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Margaret also presented data showing that clinicians\u2019 estimates of terminally ill patients\u2019 time remaining are often <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">over<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">-estimates. This is worth knowing. We had to prepare fast. She might not even see the Last Night of the Proms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">My mum accepted it all: there was no fighting, no demanding futile treatments that might delay it, but at some dreadful cost of discomfort and pain. Now 80, she\u2019d lasted 10 years longer than either of her parents, and 20 years longer than her brother: the same disease (category) claiming them all. She decided that she wanted a small family cremation service, followed by a memorial service<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">like that of her brother, a priest<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">with people in colourful clothes, \u201ca celebration of the resurrection.\u201d She designed the service, and she and my dad chose the hymns, music, and readings, and wrote the eulogy. She asked my cousin, her nephew, also a priest, to do the sermon. An English teacher, she wrote lists for us of literature and music \u201cwe have loved.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The day after the diagnosis, I read Margaret\u2019s book in its entirety, and re-read Harvard doctor Atul Gawande\u2019s book <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/atulgawande.com\/book\/being-mortal\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Being Mortal: Illness, Medicine and What Matters in the End<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Clearly, our task now was to help somebody to die well, about which I knew precisely nothing, so I better <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/RTFM\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">RTFM<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Margaret\u2019s book talks about how, if a person collapses, paramedics may be obliged to perform CPR, which <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0300957215003731\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">succeeds pretty often in TV dramas<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but in older people is just a violent way to break their ribs. So both my parents got \u201cdo not resuscitate\u201d notes and carried them everywhere.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Mum stayed at home throughout, supported by my dad. Their GP activated <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.renniegrove.org\/patients-and-families\/how-we-care-for-you\/hospice-at-home\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">the local hospice-at-home service<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which came weekly, with support and advice and equipment (because of her now-tanking mobility). The district nurse came a few times and produced some other kit. The GP came, and was in touch throughout.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A zillion friends and family visited. Despite being asleep a lot, she (and my dad) were having three or four visitors a day: \u201csocialising like undergraduates.\u201d A cousin missed his slot due to traffic and had to wait a week for another one. She mainly held court in the living room, which looked like a florists\u2019, and people too distant to visit wrote reminding her of happy times they\u2019d had together. Notice that none of this would have happened if the oncologist hadn\u2019t been clear that she was dying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">My dad did a ton of care, which was increasingly intensive as she deteriorated. By week four, she couldn\u2019t walk from one end of the room to the other. \u201cFading away,&#8221; she said. Friends brought food<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">useful food, like meals, not just biscuits<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">and sourced things like a ramp to get her wheelchair down the single step to the downstairs loo.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">There was no pain. There were loads of drugs (all oral) and lots of sleeping and waking at odd hours, but no pain. What there was, however, was lots of love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">She shrank. Cancer eats you alive. In week three she gave me her wedding ring, after it fell off one day<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">unprecedented in nearly 50 years of marriage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">My husband and I had a holiday booked for what became weeks four and five: thankfully only in Italy and tolerably near airports in case we needed to return. She tanked during that fortnight: dad said that \u201cthis can\u2019t go on,\u201d meaning that the gradient on her graph was so steep and she was already so near the x-axis. She was ready: she told dad during week five that she wanted \u201cto go to sleep and not wake up\u201d; one evening she bade him farewell only to seem surprised to wake up the next morning. (She\u2019d said goodbye to me on my week three visit, the day before we left for Italy.)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">We were scheduled to return from holiday on the Friday of week five. My brother\u2019s birthday was the coming Monday, and we\u2019d arranged to both go there then for a family birthday lunch. That got pulled forwards to the Saturday because, at the rate of decline, Monday was unimaginably far away: dying causes time dilation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">She was ropey that Saturday morning. When the rector came for his weekly communion-at-home visit, dad had him deliver the Anglican version of the Last Rites. He also summoned the hospice people, who brought their &#8220;party pack&#8221; of high grade morphine.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Mum knew that my brother and I were coming for lunch. Within 90 minutes of our arriving, she died<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">right there, in the living room, with the three of us, and all those flowers and cards. Gawande\u2019s book has lots of examples of dying people &#8220;hanging on&#8221; for something they\u2019re looking forward to: many more terminally ill people die just after Christmas, or just after a wedding or Bat Mitzvah or whatever event they are waiting for, than just before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A friend\u2019s mum had died a few months earlier, also of cancer, and she was unconscious for a couple of weeks. Once my mum was unconscious on the sofa, I was just hoping that we wouldn\u2019t be there all night. We all said our goodbyes. Her breaths became irregular. Long gap. Breath. Short gap. Breath. Long gap\u2026 \u201cIt seems that your mum had a life well lived and a departure pretty much on her own terms\u201d, said a friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Brain surgeon Henry Marsh in his book <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/21086818-do-no-harm\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Do No Harm<\/span><\/i><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> describes many difficulties of dealing with terminally ill people. He mentions how &#8220;nobody ever says \u2018thank you for how you told me that I am going to die\u2019.\u2019\u2019 Well, I did. I wrote to the oncologist in Oxford, to thank him precisely for being brave enough to be candid the one time that he met my mum. His candour was such a gift for us. While I was at it, I said that his estimate of mum\u2019s time remaining was indeed an over-estimate (she lasted just over five weeks). His rather astonished reply explains that doctors of course see more of the patients who last longest, which probably skews their perception of the data-set. Because he works in &#8220;the cancer system&#8221;, I also recounted how her metastasised breast cancer had fooled all the follow-up tests which she had assiduously attended: the five-year all clear notice arrived the very week after she died<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u2060\u2014<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">of that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The calm end was clearly a blessing for her. And for us too. The books I read discuss studies of how family members\u2019 mental health is markedly better if a person dies peacefully and well than if it is over-invasive, medicalised, and in over-lit hospital rooms full of strangers with machines. To all the people who gather these kinds of data, and the authors who bother to share it with us non-medics: your work could not prevent the end of my mum\u2019s life, but it vastly improved it. And for that, we are hugely grateful.<\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><em><strong>Caroline Fiennes<\/strong> runs Giving Evidence, which works with charities and charitable donors to encourage charitable giving based on sound evidence.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div><strong>Twitter:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/carolinefiennes?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor\">@carolinefiennes<\/a><br \/>\n<em><strong><br \/>\nCompeting interests:\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>None declared<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Caroline Fiennes describes how a doctor&#8217;s honesty about how long her mum had left to live was a much appreciated gift [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/\">More&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41898,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[223],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-guest-bloggers"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well - The BMJ<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well - The BMJ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Caroline Fiennes describes how a doctor&#8217;s honesty about how long her mum had left to live was a much appreciated gift [...]More...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The BMJ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bmjdotcom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-09-06T13:01:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-09-17T09:46:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/04\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"540\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"350\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"BMJ\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@bmj_latest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@bmj_latest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"BMJ\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"BMJ\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ba3da426ed20e8f1d933ca367d8216fe\"},\"headline\":\"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-09-06T13:01:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-09-17T09:46:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1522,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Guest writers\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/\",\"name\":\"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well - The BMJ\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-09-06T13:01:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-09-17T09:46:16+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg\",\"width\":540,\"height\":350},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2019\\\/09\\\/06\\\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/\",\"name\":\"The BMJ\",\"description\":\"Helping doctors make better decisions.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"The BMJ\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/The-BMJ-logo.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/The-BMJ-logo.jpg\",\"width\":852,\"height\":568,\"caption\":\"The BMJ\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/bmjdotcom\\\/\",\"https:\\\/\\\/x.com\\\/bmj_latest\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ba3da426ed20e8f1d933ca367d8216fe\",\"name\":\"BMJ\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/b4d8f39281bcae118348a1c027347b8e53b82d42520e774a8b50dd9a6ac6c01d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/b4d8f39281bcae118348a1c027347b8e53b82d42520e774a8b50dd9a6ac6c01d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/b4d8f39281bcae118348a1c027347b8e53b82d42520e774a8b50dd9a6ac6c01d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"BMJ\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/author\\\/admin\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well - The BMJ","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well - The BMJ","og_description":"Caroline Fiennes describes how a doctor&#8217;s honesty about how long her mum had left to live was a much appreciated gift [...]More...","og_url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/","og_site_name":"The BMJ","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bmjdotcom\/","article_published_time":"2019-09-06T13:01:53+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-09-17T09:46:16+00:00","og_image":[{"width":540,"height":350,"url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/04\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"BMJ","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@bmj_latest","twitter_site":"@bmj_latest","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"BMJ","Est. reading time":"8 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/"},"author":{"name":"BMJ","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#\/schema\/person\/ba3da426ed20e8f1d933ca367d8216fe"},"headline":"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well","datePublished":"2019-09-06T13:01:53+00:00","dateModified":"2019-09-17T09:46:16+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/"},"wordCount":1522,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/04\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg","articleSection":["Guest writers"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/","url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/","name":"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well - The BMJ","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/04\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg","datePublished":"2019-09-06T13:01:53+00:00","dateModified":"2019-09-17T09:46:16+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/04\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/04\/assisted_dying_editorialONLY.jpg","width":540,"height":350},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2019\/09\/06\/caroline-fiennes-tale-of-a-life-ended-well\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Caroline Fiennes: Tale of a life ended well"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#website","url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/","name":"The BMJ","description":"Helping doctors make better decisions.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#organization","name":"The BMJ","url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/05\/The-BMJ-logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2018\/05\/The-BMJ-logo.jpg","width":852,"height":568,"caption":"The BMJ"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bmjdotcom\/","https:\/\/x.com\/bmj_latest"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/#\/schema\/person\/ba3da426ed20e8f1d933ca367d8216fe","name":"BMJ","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b4d8f39281bcae118348a1c027347b8e53b82d42520e774a8b50dd9a6ac6c01d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b4d8f39281bcae118348a1c027347b8e53b82d42520e774a8b50dd9a6ac6c01d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b4d8f39281bcae118348a1c027347b8e53b82d42520e774a8b50dd9a6ac6c01d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"BMJ"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45548"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45548\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}