{"id":3547,"date":"2010-08-19T08:48:27","date_gmt":"2010-08-19T07:48:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/?p=3547"},"modified":"2010-08-27T13:54:54","modified_gmt":"2010-08-27T12:54:54","slug":"richard-smith-contemplating-my-deathbed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2010\/08\/19\/richard-smith-contemplating-my-deathbed\/","title":{"rendered":"Richard Smith: contemplating my deathbed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bmj.com\/site\/blog\/icons\/bmjh7648e.jpg\" alt=\"Richard Smith\" width=\"160\" height=\"110\" align=\"left\" \/>Through Twitter from my friend Martin I have received a list of the five things that people most commonly regret when dying. This is enormously useful information, much more so than a delicious recipe, a good joke or a great quote\u2014my usual favourites. I could be on my deathbed in the next five minutes, but the chances are\u2014even at 58 with brain cells dying like the Romans before Hannibal\u2014that I\u2019ll have a little time. I have time to avoid the regrets.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->Peoples\u2019 first regret\u2014and these regrets come from Bronnie Ware, a writer, singer\/songwriter, songwriting teacher and speaker from Australia who has worked in palliative care <a href=\"http:\/\/ezinearticles.com\/?Top-Five-Regrets-of-the-Dying&amp;id=3268063\">http:\/\/ezinearticles.com\/?Top-Five-Regrets-of-the-Dying&amp;id=3268063<\/a>\u2014 is that they haven\u2019t been true to themselves and have lived the life others expected them to live rather than the life they wanted to live. They haven\u2019t \u201clived their dreams.\u201d This one doesn\u2019t bother me. I\u2019d like to have been a saxophone player, but better, I feel, to have been a moderate editor than a hopeless saxophone player. I am a husband and a father, but these roles have felt to me like choices and I have no regrets, despite some flaming rows.<\/p>\n<p>Next, and I knew this was coming, people\u2014actually mainly men\u2014wished that they hadn\u2019t worked so hard. They \u201cdeeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.\u201d My wife would say that I work all the time, but I live a life where work and play are not easily distinguished. Is writing this work? It doesn\u2019t feel like it to me. Tomorrow I\u2019m off to give a talk at a science festival in the Austrian Alps. Is that work? The truth is that even in the most serious jobs I\u2019ve always let the appealing (and often frivolous) come before the serious.<\/p>\n<p>The third regret people have is that they haven\u2019t had the courage to express their feelings. Now I\u2019m rather unemotional, maybe even a cold fish, although I don\u2019t think that I come across that way. I get very inspired by great views, cathedrals, and good books, and I always burst into tears when I hear bagpipes, But I hardly ever get angry and haven\u2019t been sad for 30 years. I see people around me who are very emotional and driven, and I admire them\u2014but I\u2019m also glad not to be them. So I don\u2019t feel I\u2019ve bottled anything up. Indeed, I\u2019ve lived a very open life, hardly ever able to keep a secret. My inclination is to tell all to everybody\u2014hence my frantic blogging and social networking.<\/p>\n<p>People\u2019s fourth regret is that they haven\u2019t stayed in touch with friends. There are people I\u2019ve known and loved who have disappeared from my life, and I sometimes think about my first girlfriend who was a lovely girl but misunderstood if not actually mistreated by me. I know little about women now, but I knew nothing at all then. But I have plenty of old friends, including some I\u2019ve known for 47 years. I don\u2019t think that I\u2019ll share this regret.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, Bonnie reports that people regretted that they hadn\u2019t allowed themselves to be happier. I\u2019m suspicious of the pursuit of happiness. Make your first aim in life to be happy, and I fear that you\u2019ll be disappointed. But think what you love to do and do it and happiness will be a welcome side product. I would put myself at nine on a 10 point scale of happiness, and I might even put 10 except that I\u2019d fear being labeled manic. Love and work are what matter, said Freud, and I\u2019m also taken by Trollope\u2019s advice for happiness of \u201ca heavy load and a broad back with which to bear it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This all smacks of horrible complacency. Maybe on my death bed I\u2019ll feel very different and be overwhelmed by these regrets. What I am sure of is that I don\u2019t want to die with important relationships in my life unresolved. That\u2019s one way I try to live my life, being sure that if I die tonight I won\u2019t leave strained relationships\u2014and that I will have told all the people that I love that I love them. A palliative care nurse told me that, and I pass onto you\u2014together with Bonnie\u2019s regrets.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Through Twitter from my friend Martin I have received a list of the five things that people most commonly regret when dying. This is enormously useful information, much more so [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2010\/08\/19\/richard-smith-contemplating-my-deathbed\/\">More&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":38364,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[955],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3547","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-richard-smith"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Richard Smith: contemplating my deathbed - The BMJ<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2010\/08\/19\/richard-smith-contemplating-my-deathbed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Richard Smith: contemplating my deathbed - The BMJ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Through Twitter from my friend Martin I have received a list of the five things that people most commonly regret when dying. 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