{"id":33125,"date":"2015-01-12T12:59:28","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T11:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/?p=33125"},"modified":"2015-01-12T12:59:28","modified_gmt":"2015-01-12T11:59:28","slug":"the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2015\/01\/12\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\/","title":{"rendered":"The BMJ Today: My mum and Richard Smith"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2014\/12\/deputy-chair-of-MJA-on-stage-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-32976\" src=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2014\/12\/deputy-chair-of-MJA-on-stage-1-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"deputy chair of MJA on stage (1)\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a>Yesterday my mum, who died of cancer in February 2007, would have been 91. I\u2019m not an expert on death and so do not know whether hers was &#8220;good&#8221; or not, but I\u2019ll never forget the last six months of her life, when we knew she was dying and had to make the most of having her around.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Soon after her diagnosis, she began attending the local hospice as a day care patient, and over time its nurses would stay overnight as her condition worsened.<\/p>\n<p>This must have been especially odd for her, as my sister works there as clinical services manager, although she wasn&#8217;t involved in her direct care. I wasn\u2019t sure my mum would take to the regime there, but she got to love her hospice days, meeting other patients, making things, and having treatments and therapies.<\/p>\n<p>She even ended up on TV when, six weeks before she died, a film crew turned up with celebrity chef <a title=\"Aldo Zilli\" href=\"http:\/\/www.aldozilli.com\/aldos-page\/\" target=\"_blank\">Aldo Zilli<\/a>,\u00a0who cooked the patients Christmas lunch. She was unimpressed with the result (too fancy), but was a big fan of the hospice cook and her home cooked lunches.<\/p>\n<p>Why am I telling you this? I suppose it\u2019s because I understood why Richard Smith\u2019s recent &#8220;Cancer is the best death&#8221;\u00a0<a title=\"Cancer is the best death\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2014\/12\/31\/richard-smith-dying-of-cancer-is-the-best-death\/\" target=\"_blank\">blog<\/a>\u00a0post\u00a0(and its<a title=\"Richard Smith\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2015\/01\/05\/death-a-response-from-richard-smith\/\" target=\"_blank\"> follow-up one<\/a>) caused the reaction it did, particularly from bereaved patients, and especially from those who have lost a child to cancer.<\/p>\n<p>So it\u2019s good to <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2015\/01\/12\/mike-smeeton-how-to-achieve-a-good-death\/\">read the perspective of Mike Smeeton<\/a>, director of health and social care, from the neurological hospice charity <a title=\"Sue Ryder\" href=\"http:\/\/www.sueryder.org\/?gclid=CIzQ2b-UjsMCFc3LtAodQAoAWQ\" target=\"_blank\">Sue Ryder<\/a>. Two of its nurses talked about the fallout from Richard\u2019s blog on BBC Radio 4\u2019s <a title=\"Broadcasting House \" href=\"http:\/\/www.bbc.co.uk\/programmes\/b04wrwm8\" target=\"_blank\">Broadcasting House<\/a>\u00a0programme.<\/p>\n<p>As Mike\u00a0says, it\u2019s how you die that\u2019s important, and its research shows that for most people that means being free from pain and discomfort, being surrounded by loved ones, having privacy and dignity, and calm and peace.<\/p>\n<p>I know my mum didn\u2019t have all of those things all of the time, but the team at <a title=\"Treetops Hospice\" href=\"http:\/\/www.treetopshospice.org.uk\" target=\"_blank\">Treetops Hospice<\/a>\u00a0tried to make that the case for as much of the time as possible.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s end with some wonderful news, which is that so far <em>The BMJ&#8217;s<\/em> Christmas appeal for MSF has raised \u00a334 896, more than double our target. This is an amazing achievement. Many thanks to our readers who have made donations, and if you haven\u2019t, and want to, there is still time. Here is the <a title=\"MSF donation page\" href=\"http:\/\/www.msf.org.uk\/thebmj?utm_campaign=thebmjappeal&amp;utm_source=bmjwebsite&amp;utm_medium=referral-&amp;utm_content=bmjappealpage%20\" target=\"_blank\">donation page<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>David Payne<\/strong> is digital editor, <\/em>The BMJ<em>, and readers&#8217; editor.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yesterday my mum, who died of cancer in February 2007, would have been 91. I\u2019m not an expert on death and so do not know whether hers was &#8220;good&#8221; or [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2015\/01\/12\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\/\">More&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1752,5750],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-david-payne","category-the-bmj-today"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The BMJ Today: My mum and Richard Smith - The BMJ<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2015\/01\/12\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The BMJ Today: My mum and Richard Smith - The BMJ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yesterday my mum, who died of cancer in February 2007, would have been 91. I\u2019m not an expert on death and so do not know whether hers was &#8220;good&#8221; or [...]More...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2015\/01\/12\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The BMJ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bmjdotcom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-01-12T11:59:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/files\/2014\/12\/deputy-chair-of-MJA-on-stage-1-150x150.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"BMJ\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@bmj_latest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@bmj_latest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"BMJ\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"BMJ\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ba3da426ed20e8f1d933ca367d8216fe\"},\"headline\":\"The BMJ Today: My mum and Richard Smith\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-01-12T11:59:28+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":433,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/files\\\/2014\\\/12\\\/deputy-chair-of-MJA-on-stage-1-150x150.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"David Payne\",\"The BMJ today\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/blogs.bmj.com\\\/bmj\\\/2015\\\/01\\\/12\\\/the-bmj-today-my-mum-and-richard-smith\\\/\",\"name\":\"The BMJ Today: My mum and Richard Smith - 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