{"id":2902,"date":"2010-07-05T14:43:12","date_gmt":"2010-07-05T13:43:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/?p=2902"},"modified":"2010-07-05T14:43:12","modified_gmt":"2010-07-05T13:43:12","slug":"domhnall-macauley-on-ivf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2010\/07\/05\/domhnall-macauley-on-ivf\/","title":{"rendered":"Domhnall MacAuley on IVF"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bmj.com\/channels\/icons\/domhnall.jpg\" alt=\"Domhnall Macauley\" width=\"162\" height=\"110\" align=\"left\" \/>Death and the quest for new life seem unlikely companions. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.irishtimes.com\/newspaper\/ireland\/2010\/0630\/1224273622953.html\">Last week&#8217;s<\/a> headline read \u201cInquest told woman who died in car fire was &#8216;devastated&#8217; over failed IVF.\u201d The other side of the bonny baby glossy media success story is the suffering of fate.\u00a0 Infertility pushes couples to extremes. It can become an obsession, a single minded internal desperation that overwhelms logic and balance.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Celebrity IVF pregnancies make it all seem so straightforward- we usually only hear the\u00a0good news.\u00a0 When the stars conceive by IVF it raises the hopes for many yet sharpens the pain of failure. It can be successful and that\u2019s why it becomes such a focus for infertile couples. But, it may just be another transit on a voyage of deteriorating hopes and rising disappointment. Watching from the sidelines of general practice, you can feel the pain and distress at every stage.<\/p>\n<p>The initial decision to try for a family is often now a positive lifestyle choice.\u00a0 Effective contraception means that couples usually make a planned decision rather than stumble into parenthood. The first few months of \u201ctrying\u201d carry a tinge of excitement and expectation but after a few months every period is a let down and tiny doubts begin to arise. Partners quietly worry about their own or their companion\u2019s ability to have a family. Anxiety increases together with a feeling of personal responsibility, especially if one partner is already a parent. There may be an oblique comment or question slipped into a consultation with their GP but the decision to formally discuss infertility is always a major step at the end of a period of waiting, hoping, agonising and worry. Agreeing to investigation opens two vulnerable people to the possibility that it is them.\u00a0 \u201cCould it be my fault\u201d- they always say \u2013 with an overbearing guilt.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Months go by with the calendar focused on medication, mucus, and disappointment. Sex is goal oriented and timing is everything, Eventually, and it feels like the end of the line, IVF is presented as an option; a last hope destination at the end of a stressful and traumatic journey of guilt, recriminations, argument, and insecurity. Relationships may be hanging by a thread. Pregnancy is joyous but a couple that survives failed IVF can probably survive anything. There are casualties.\u00a0Last week&#8217;s headline charts a lost life and single and unusual tragedy, but there are many broken hearts.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Domhnall MacAuley <\/strong>is primary care editor, BMJ<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Death and the quest for new life seem unlikely companions. Last week&#8217;s headline read \u201cInquest told woman who died in car fire was &#8216;devastated&#8217; over failed IVF.\u201d The other side [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2010\/07\/05\/domhnall-macauley-on-ivf\/\">More&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1287],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-domhnall-macauley"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Domhnall MacAuley on IVF - The BMJ<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.bmj.com\/bmj\/2010\/07\/05\/domhnall-macauley-on-ivf\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Domhnall MacAuley on IVF - The BMJ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Death and the quest for new life seem unlikely companions. 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